"Friends and family can help them find a way to experience safety in telling the truth." "They can be made to understand that it's a coping mechanism and not coming from lack of love-people assume we wouldn't lie to those we love," Rishty said. If a child is known to lie because they have a history of abuse, friends and family members should try to understand and empathize with their reason for lying. Instead, they offer a lie that casts them in a good light." How can friends and family help with lying? The person lying may so badly want the lie to be the truth that the lie becomes his or her actual truth…Such people may also worry they won't be respected if the truth can leave them looking poorly. "One is that the lie being told may not seem like a lie to the person telling it. The site offers several reasons why this might happen. "It's harder to fathom why some people often tell lies with no clear purpose and when the lies are usually easy to disprove," the American Counseling Association (ACA) states on its website. In the case of sexual abuse victims, they may be forced to lie to protect the person abusing them.Ĭompulsive lying occurs when someone lies incessantly out of habit, sometimes for no reason at all. "As the child grows up to be an adult, they might maintain that defense," Rishty added.Īdditionally, people might lie to protect someone else's feelings and avoid hurting them. Lying, particularly for children, can create an alternate reality in which an individual feels safe. "Lying can be a coping mechanism for trauma for both adults and children, because trauma sufferers sometimes don't feel safe enough to tell the truth," said psychotherapist Lillian Rishty, L.C.S.W., who owns NYC Therapy Group in midtown Manhattan. In general, people lie to avoid punishment, embarrassment or other negative consequences. The same can be said about adults whose lying habits stem from childhood or abusive relationships. "Punishing will not get you the results you want when parenting a child who has experienced neglect or abuse. "Lying is a common trauma response," said Laura, a foster parent who uses just her first name on the popular TikTok account Foster Parenting, in one of her viral videos. 'Lying can be a coping mechanism for trauma for both adults and children, because trauma sufferers sometimes don't feel safe enough to tell the truth.' If you're used to cruel punishment of any kind when someone perceives you haven't done what you're told or what's expected of you, a lie may help avoid a concurrent punishment. If you confront them with a question they don't like, they may not answer truthfully, because they may be afraid of consequences. Interacting with a child or adult who's been physically, sexually or emotionally abused can be complicated, especially if you're not fully aware of their history of abuse.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |